5:58AM, eyes half open to search for my glasses, I can hear silly giggles and stomping feet coming up the stairs. The boys are awake and that means the day has begun, full steam ahead. They are already asking for breakfast and looking for the Lego bin. Elsa is back to sleep after her 4am feed. David is getting ready for work so I subconsciously get a cup of coffee and begin working on breakfast for the boys. By the time it’s 7:30am everyone is fed, dressed, backpacks ready and I’m about to feed Elsa again before we head out the door. Oh but wait…I forgot my shoes, didn’t eat breakfast, didn’t brush my teeth or comb my hair. Somewhere in all the hustle and bustle, the crying, the throwing of toys, and kiss the husband goodbye, the mother is forgotten.
Recently I have a few friends who are either pregnant or just had their first or second baby. Pregnancy brings a large suitcase of hormones, tickets to a fast and furious emotional roller coaster, and a puke bag in the front pocket of the seat. A first baby means you deliver not just a baby but sleepless nights, ear plugs for crying, so many diapers, and binders full of new subjects to worry over. A second baby, well you still get all of the first but you add to the bookshelf a second edition of worry and volume two of sleep deprivation. Even if you don’t have a child with special needs, motherhood is rough. With the to-do list piling up and more humans demanding your attention relying solely on your care, it’s all too easy to forget about yourself.
Self-care is so important and it is one life lesson where I am still adding knowledge and experience. Lately, I see so many moms in my cycle of friends that might just need a little extra encouragement, a little nudge in the right direction, and reassurance that this motherhood gig is tough but so rewarding. Nothing in my life has brought me closer to Jesus, brought me to tears in prayer, and yet produced so much joy. Here is a little of what I do for myself that keeps me sane, keeps my mind growing, and ultimately makes me a better mom at the end of the day.
First things first. Taking care of yourself as a mother does not need to take up time. It does not need to be away from the kids and it does not need to cost extra money. It takes creativity and exploring the subjects that are interesting to you. Take a few minutes and brainstorm the things that you love to do and work them into your day as you can.
- Hot cup of your favorite tea or coffee beverage: Okay maybe your drink is also in a beautiful fluted glass the color of red after 3pm.
- I love to drink a cup of Bengal Spice Tea.
- Nap-time: I take nap-time very seriously. All of my kids nap at the same time for at least an hour. I take full advantage of this time to nap as well. With a baby in our house, sleep is limited and stress is high. A little extra shuteye for me is just what I need most days.
- Might as well add to this by saying some nights I just need to go to bed early. Toddlers are notorious for early rising. My kids are no exception! If I want more sleep, which makes me a happier and more effective mother, I need to go to bed early.
- Podcasts: I am definitely not an expert in media and computers but you can find a podcast on just about anything. I’ll listen to a podcast while the kids are having free play in the afternoon, while doing dishes, or while walking on the treadmill at the gym. It’s usually a sermon or a podcast from the Village church on knowing faith, topics of Christianity and debating current topics in Christian culture.
- Time with husband: My kids are in bed for the night by 7:30pm every night. This time leaves room in the day for us as a couple. We can talk, read together, or just watch our favorite sitcom at the end of the day. This is great self-care but it’s also great for any marriage to spend some time together without the kids around.
- Reading the Bible: My morning time is essential to my day. Most days it’s only five minutes that I get to read through a passage of scripture and short devotional. Other mornings I get the luxury of meditating on scripture and s pending time praying through a passage.
- Crafting: Sometimes I’m able to multitask and knit or crochet while the kids are around and sometimes I do this once they have gone to bed. Knitting for the kids is rewarding for me and they look forward to what I’m making. This is one of my favorite yarns because it’s thick, easy to work with, and fast to knit or crochet a project. Currently working on a hat to match this blanket.
- Books: I’ve been reading a lot lately. I read while the kids are playing, at nap-time, or after they have gone to bed. Maybe I only get a page read at a time but it’s something for me that will keep my mind engaged and keeps me growing in different areas of my life. Here are a few that I am working on at the moment.
- Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman is a rare book that speaks Gospel truth in boldness. It’s an oldie but a goodie. I highly recommend this book!
- Gross Motor Skills for Children with Down Syndrome is the current book I’m reading for Elsa. Although she does not have Down Syndrome, she does exhibit the same hypotonia. This book is perfect to demonstrate positions to help an infant reach their milestones. Super easy to read and to follow the pictures, I’ve been using this book often during our afternoon physical therapy sessions.
I think what I have learned from motherhood and taking care of myself is that it really doesn’t take much time or effort. It can be simple or it can be extravagant. Either way, it helps me be a better mom. When I’m stressed, at my limits, nerve about to snap, I’m not at my best. When I take the time to breath, to engage my brain in the things that I love, and remind myself that I have an identity outside of my children, I can mother them with more love. Our identity as mothers should not solely lie within our children. It’s crushing for them. Find the time and space to take care of yourself to love your kids more.
What do you do for self-care? Run, sew, shop, paint, cook? I’d love to hear your way to care for yourself in the comments and share ideas with others.